So many mistakes to make, and so little time to make them…
There’s a phrase that echoes round certain groups of people whenever someone fucks up in the most silly of ways. Whether it is telling a girlfriend she does indeed look fat in that, or dropping a shiny new iPhone 3G in a pint of Worthingtons, you can rest assured some geezer will holler ‘Schoolboy error!‘ before long.
Why ‘schoolboy‘ though? There are plenty of impressive school boys. And why no gradation of errors? What if it’s just a minor mistake, or conversely a whopper size howler? How do you communicate these? This is how…
THE ANONLINEGREENWORLD.COM ERROR CHART
Your guide to making your opinion of any fuck-up known to all around you…
- PROFESSOR ERROR: leaving a tea bag in too long
- DOCTORATE ERROR: cutting yourself shaving
- GRADUATE ERROR: admitting you fancy Vanessa Feltz
- FRESHMAN ERROR: wearing a woman’s blouse by mistake. For 3 years.
- GAP-YEAR ERROR: spunking in your own hair
- HEAD BOY ERROR: calling your mum a ’slapper’ at Christmas dinner
- SCHOOL BOY ERROR: being sick on your laptop
- TODDLER ERROR: killing a kitten by landing on it with a pogo-stick
- BABY ERROR: letting a splinter in your penis go septic (for any reason…)
- FOETAL ERROR: setting off a sequence of events that ends in the destruction of mankind
Go forth and multiply this table people. Let’s hear these phrases ring out with every screw-up, however big or small, the British Olympic Team make in Beijing. Let’s hear them when Amy Winehouse falls over Pete Doherty crushing Lindsay Lohan in a crumple of scum. Let’s hear them whenever someone drops a plate in a restaurant. Over, and out.
