I’m always seeing blog ‘memes’ along the lines of ‘Write 7 Things You’ve Never Told Anyone’, or ‘Write about the last time you smiled/cried/regurgitated a prawn’. I don’t like them. They’re lazy, pointless and above all dull. Even a picture of a Chimpanzee waterskiing (with a stetson on, no less) couldn’t perk them up. In a bid to sort this therefore, I’ve concocted my own. If you like it, you can play along too (but don’t, unless you really are dull…)

WRITE DOWN THE LAST 5 THINGS THAT MADE YOU WALK A BIT FASTER

1. It was snowing (though I continued to move more slowly than usual)
2. I needed a wee
3. A fat man was in my personal space
4. I was try to check out a girl with a great rack, who turned out to be quite repulsive
5. I was going to miss the start of Watchdog