Tonight, as any good Scot knows, we celebrate Burns night.

Here’s a handy guide for anyone not sure what the whole evening is about. You can click here for pictorial info.

For those of you too lazy to engage with Adobe Acrobat however, hit the jump. You know you want to.

Origins
Burns Night has been celebrated since 1995 to fill the gap in the prime time broadcasting schedules left when the end of The Krypton Factor stole Gordon Burns away from the screens of the wider UK public. Despite his continued exposure on North West Tonight, many UK citizens (and ex-pats Worldwide) continue to celebrate Burns Night with a traditional evening based around the great man.

Ben Shepherd’s appearance on screens as the new presenter of The Krypton Factor has done little to erode observence of this evening, with most Burns fans riled by the lack of lemon piping on the jump suits used in the Physical Ability round.

Traditional Dress
Attendees at a Burns Supper traditionally wear a casual jacket, tie and slacks combination. This can be accompanied by adopting the handsomely swept hair of Gordon Burns. Wigs are often sold in major population centres during the month of January to meet demand for this ‘look’.

At larger dinners, Burns Masks are also worn. You can find an example of such a mask on the second page of this guide.

Traditional Food
There are actually few rules on what is eaten at a traditional Burns Supper, though every meal must end with a cake shaped like the Krypton Factor logo. In most circles this is made with simple sponge, green food colouring and jam bringing a little colour to proceedings.
In recent years ‘Burns Soup’ consisting of carrot and parsnip, has grown in popularity as a starter for these dinners.

The Krypton Grace
When cutting the cake, The Krypton Grace should be said to honour the evening. Nobody is quite sure of the origins of the grace, but one legend states that it was penned by ex-international rugby star Gareth Chilcott for a charity raffle. This is entirely unsubstantiated, but paints a nice image.

Some hae mental agility but connat run,
And some wad run but can’t add up;
But we hae legs, and we hae brains,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.

Works By Burns
After the dinner, it is traditional for attendees to perform renditions of some of Burns’ best work. This may be drawn from any of his career highlights and while most prefer some of the classic quotes from the aforementioned Krypton Factor, there is a fashion amongst keen Burns Supper attendees for highlighting Gordon Burns’ work on LWT’s Surprise, Surprise! with Cilla Black. This may or may not be done with a male member of the party in drag, as Ms Black.